This isn't a serious or deep "5 Secrets to a Godly Marriage" blog post. It's simple and relaxed. Not to mention, it's from the perspective of two young adults that fell in love and said "I do" not that long ago. Marriage teaches you things. And here are just but a few things of what my husband and I have learned so far...
- Play Games. We often times play board games. But this game my husband made up took everything to a whole new level. One Saturday night before bedtime (#pastorlife) Calvin disappeared into our spare room and it was evident that he began to set something up. Once I was finally allowed to enter, he opened the door and said, "Welcome to The Monthly Battleship International World Cup". My guess is it's "international" because I'm Mexican and he's American. HA! He then explained the point of the game was to throw Splenda packets from one side of the mattress over to the next in hopes that our ammunition (aka Splenda packets) would make it into the opponents strategically placed coffee mugs (aka our ships). The first to sink all 5 ships won the game. Life size battleship at it's finest. There was even a trophy. Made out of a scrap piece of wood. And by now I'm sure you're wondering... who won? I did. And I have a picture to prove it. We laughed, we might of even trash talked a little and just had F U N! Yes, marriage is a serious commitment. However, marriage doesn't have to be serious all the time. Meaning, you don't have to be formal, put together or squeaky clean. Relax. Be flexible. Get creative. Try new things together and make each other laugh in the process.
- No phones. Your screen time has an effect on your marriage. Millennials seem to be obsessed. Go against the grain, put it down. Sure, take your picture of the delicious meal, cute latte art or the typical couple pose outside the venue, but then tuck your phones away (lock them in your car, keep them in your pockets, etc.) and spend quality time with one another undisturbed by constantly checking notifications. Also, avoid taking phones to bed. Talk or cuddle instead. ;)
- Ask questions. Ladies, your husband can't read your mind. Trust me on this one. And fellas, your lady wants to share things with you. Let her talk... and listen. Be intentional about asking each other questions. Calvin and I take Mondays to do just that. We drive into Houston, enjoy a treat, go for a walk and ask each other these questions:
- How are you spiritually?
- How are you physically?
- How are you emotionally?
- How are you sexually?
- What do you have going on this week?
Advice from Calvin:
- Have sex. Problems in a couple's marriage are always reflected in at least one of the spouse's view of sex with their partner.
- Call out sin. You're my spouse and I love you. Because I love you, I am willing to call out insecurities and sin that you need to give to God. Love isn't patting people on the back when they're wrong. Love is Jesus telling Peter, "Get behind me Satan" when Peter was in the wrong. I have never felt more conviction from someone other than my wife, and therefore I have never grown as much as a man or disciple from someone other than my wife.
- 1 - 2 - 3. 1 Kiss, 2 Chores, 3 Questions. Everytime you get home from work, give one kiss, do two chores (do the dishes, take out the trash, etc.) and ask your spouse three questions about their day. Stop being selfish and make him or her a priority.
Whether you loved it or disagreed with it, here's a little more about the two who are offering their wisdom to you. Calvin and I will be married for 3 years in August. We were first friends for about two years while at a Christian university. We both desired to marry someone who loved God and would commit to loving their spouse as God commands. We currently pastor Christ's Mercy Churchin Katy, TX. Just 3 months into our marriage this door opened for us and we walked through it. You could say we have taken a crash course on marriage while in full-time ministry. Our advice heavily stems from these experiences and we hope you're encouraged.
Love each other a heck of a lot and laugh a bunch,
Got some marriage tips? Comment them below! Or share with us any tips you found helpful.