Leading Women: Teaching Others
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Here we are! At the final post of my Leading Women blog series. Thanks for all your encouraging feed back. I've enjoyed sharing on this topic, so let jump right in!
Discipleship (or mentorship) is embedded into the structure of my local church. Christ’s Mercy Church, the church my husband and I planted in Katy, has three core values: Community, Transparency and Discipleship.
Discipleship can only happen when one lives transparently in community with others.
(See Calvin and I w/some members below!)
Prior to CMC, I'd be lying to say that I intentionally lived a transparent lifestyle continously committed to discipleship.
Before I go on with sharing how I started teaching other women, I want to give these disclaimers:
- Discipleship isn't you being the smartest and holiest person in the room.
- Discipleship isn't you having to be a Bible scholar, teaching another Hebrew, Greek and our theology's origin.
- Discipleship IS you being open and honest. Where there is no honesty, there is no change.
- Discipleship IS intentionally growing in your relationship with Christ and being held accountable.
(Not just sipping coffee + talking feelings.)
WEEKLY DISCIPLESHIP NOW:
As I mentioned, my church is very intentional about discipleship, so now, I am, too! Before, I would meet up for coffee dates and share God stories with girls at my university that were either my age or younger than me. I later (after graduating) opened up my apartment to college-aged girls and led them in Bible study. We all have to start somewhere...
But now, the foundation of my discipleship relationships is transparency. I first share my story with them - leaving nothing out. I am honest about my past failures, my temptations and weaknesses - yet never leave out the redemptive power of Jesus and the JOY of knowing him more and more each day. I teach them all I know and keep them (the ladies I lead) accountable and often remind them that the end goal of our discipleship relationship is for them to be commissioned off to do the exact same with another. (Below are 3 ladies I've discipled.)
F.A.Q I get in regards to discipleship:
1. When/how do you meet with someone to disciple them?
- I meet once a week with ladies. If something comes up, a phone call helps to keep the communication consistent.
- Sometimes we meet for dinner, a cup of coffee or dessert. Other times, we just sit on the couch of my home or kitchen table.
- I check on how their week is going, check on the things they are working on (Bible reading, prayer, fasting, giving, serving)
- I pray with them, we read scripture and discuss a lesson together from THIS DISCIPLESHIP MATERIAL.
- We wrap up with setting goals for ourselves for the week or month to come.
2. How often do you check on them?
- I keep a group text with the ladies I disciple to check in twice or more each week and ask them for prayer requests, share praises with one another, and remind them of goals set to live a better life.
3. How/where do I start leading another woman?
- Invite a younger gal to coffee and read books of the Bible together.
- Volunteer to teach a Sunday school class or small group.
- Start a Bible study and invite 2-3 others to join you.
4. What’s the best way to teach someone how to pray? Or read the Bible?
- If you're discipling someone newer to the faith, they won't be used to sitting and praying for a long time or consistently reading the Bible. Don't just tell them how to practice these spiritual disciplines, but show them.
- Prayer: show them how you pray and challenge them to set a time and place to pray. Follow up with them on it.
- Bible reading: physically show them how you read the Bible. Challenge them to read a book of the Bible in one sitting.
5. How long am I suppose to disciple someone for?
- The duration of discipleship can vary. Jesus walked with his twelve disciples for 3 years. Timothy was Paul's mentee for much longer. I have walked along three ladies for almost two years now and another lady for almost one year. (Pic below.)
- Do keep in mind that there will come a time to commission them off, to let go. This is a vital part of their growth.
6. How do I correct/rebuke my disciple?
- All confrontation should be done in love. Pray before and after. If you don't already know how to confront in love and with Godly wisdom, discipling another will give you some practice.
- Holding someone accountable is naturally confrontational. Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions.
- If correcting, be sure to not just call out their errors, but also vocalize their strengths and potential. You must be for them.
7. What if my disciple and I have grown distant or if it seems she's not interested?
- Consistency is key. If you all haven't met or communicated consistently, it will naturally cause you to question the process. Discipleship must be a priority to the leader and disciplee. Have the conversation of the importance of discipleship and if this is truly a commitment they're ready to take on.
- Be faithful to pray for them, encourage them and speak truth. Pray for discernment on how to move forward.
Let me encourage you with two final thoughts on the matter…
Discipleship is a process. There is no crash-course, spark notes or cramming with true discipleship. It is more than gaining a ton of head knowledge and memorization. They are learning a lifestyle, not just words on paper. Roots take time to grow deep and strong.
Discipleship doesn’t eliminate free will. You are each your own person. Discipleship isn’t forcing someone else to do exactly as you do or say. Know that it’s a choice. If they were to choose to forsake discipleship, please also know, if you can say you did your very best, their decision doesn’t not define you as a failure. As you sow seeds, trust God is watering them.
Remember how I said we are commanded to disciple others? And if we say we “love God” than shouldn’t we willfully and joyfully obey his commands? So, lets!
“...Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you... ”
Steven Furtick says, “Obedience is your responsibility, the outcome is God’s”.
So go, be obedient, make a disciple, or two, or twelve… and fear not, because...
“...be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
Thanks for reading. Share this with a friend and as always, I'd love to read your thoughts below in a comment.
